without
where does love go when it dies
where did romance and honor go
straight to the dust and ashes
or perhaps on a far away breeze
or maybe into the clouds to fall elsewhere
these things i ponder sitting here
without the love i once knew all too well
replaced now with a solid block of ice
unmeltable with the love in my heart
strange new visions of aloneness
feelings of loving that which is not here
and my hope seems without
as it fades into the abyss of that was once you
the tears are my lifes blood
each drop making me weak
each drop draining hope from me
each drop a love falling on a deaf heart
each glimpse of faith and hope
quickly replaced with the emptiness
and the thoughts of alone and without
without a love, without a peace
without a trace
Monday, May 31, 2010
wish 01.08.02
wish
i wish i had danced with you when you asked
maybe things would be different today
just to hold you again to smell your hair
to touch your face and feel you smile
my heart aches for all that is you
i have been a way for a million years
each second and eternity slipping slowly away
with each mile i miss you more
even the sunset was not perfect without you
i try to think of tomorrow without you
and the only thing that comes are the tears
blurring the road ahead
all that i see is lessened without you
the colors look washed faded dull
my mind is a maelstrom of thoughts
all revolving around you
i miss all that you are
i miss myself without you
i wish i had danced with you when you asked
maybe things would be different today
just to hold you again to smell your hair
to touch your face and feel you smile
my heart aches for all that is you
i have been a way for a million years
each second and eternity slipping slowly away
with each mile i miss you more
even the sunset was not perfect without you
i try to think of tomorrow without you
and the only thing that comes are the tears
blurring the road ahead
all that i see is lessened without you
the colors look washed faded dull
my mind is a maelstrom of thoughts
all revolving around you
i miss all that you are
i miss myself without you
were 07.03.02
were
time ever fleeting so fast it makes me dizzy
and seeing a glimpse of now and then
of the way it can be – the way it should be
but not the way that it will be
a slow and painful final chapter
and of course i go along with it
because i know no other way to be
and all i want to do is reach out
and know that you’ll be there to receive the touch
but knowing that you’ll not be there
knowing that you are already gone
and not a word or an action i can say or do
will bring you back to where we once were
time ever fleeting so fast it makes me dizzy
and seeing a glimpse of now and then
of the way it can be – the way it should be
but not the way that it will be
a slow and painful final chapter
and of course i go along with it
because i know no other way to be
and all i want to do is reach out
and know that you’ll be there to receive the touch
but knowing that you’ll not be there
knowing that you are already gone
and not a word or an action i can say or do
will bring you back to where we once were
waking the sun 05.26.02
waking the sun
waking has never been so sweet
to the voice of my love
waking the sun from its gentle sleep
i feel as honored as the sun
to hear your words singing true
knowing you have the power you have the light
and shining as bright as the sun
my heart soars at your happiness
knowing that light is so wonderful
and i wonder if the sun in all its glory
loves you as much as i do
and i think how could it not
waking has never been so sweet
to the voice of my love
waking the sun from its gentle sleep
i feel as honored as the sun
to hear your words singing true
knowing you have the power you have the light
and shining as bright as the sun
my heart soars at your happiness
knowing that light is so wonderful
and i wonder if the sun in all its glory
loves you as much as i do
and i think how could it not
waiting 12.14.01
waiting
waiting for the moment to come
waiting for the waiting to be done
anticipating the sweetness and stillness of thought
waiting for my mind to clear
watching the hourglass – counting the grains of sand
hearing the echo as each grain falls
the deafening sounds of utter silence
with each heartbeat the time grows near
how long – how long till this ends
how long must i count the seconds
when can i let my mind be at rest
when can i let my mind be at peace
waiting for the moment to come
waiting for the waiting to be done
anticipating the sweetness and stillness of thought
waiting for my mind to clear
watching the hourglass – counting the grains of sand
hearing the echo as each grain falls
the deafening sounds of utter silence
with each heartbeat the time grows near
how long – how long till this ends
how long must i count the seconds
when can i let my mind be at rest
when can i let my mind be at peace
vampyre song 1993
vampyre song 1993
see the sins of all that we could be
hear me out my beautiful love
would not it be nice to be undead
creatures of a forever dark world
shade my eyes from the burning sun
vampye eyes dark and cold
sensitive loving misers
love the dark loathe the light
oh what mysterious funeral pyers
to live forever in the cruel place
loving the dying and the dead
see the pain of years gone by
watch the pain of years to come
vampye eyes dark and cold
sensitive loving misers
love the dark loathe the light
oh what mysterious funeral pyers
see the sins of all that we could be
hear me out my beautiful love
would not it be nice to be undead
creatures of a forever dark world
shade my eyes from the burning sun
vampye eyes dark and cold
sensitive loving misers
love the dark loathe the light
oh what mysterious funeral pyers
to live forever in the cruel place
loving the dying and the dead
see the pain of years gone by
watch the pain of years to come
vampye eyes dark and cold
sensitive loving misers
love the dark loathe the light
oh what mysterious funeral pyers
untitled 12.08.04
untitled
i miss your touch
now so far out of reach
i miss your voice
nothing more than a faint whisper in my mind
there is nothing that i do not miss
i love you with every fiber of my being
and you let me walk out the door
you have made me into alone
you have turned me into an empty shell
i long for nothing more than you
i wish i could correct past resentments
alas, i cannot – my downfall
yet, i will forever wait
wait for a moment when you will see my love
and understand my love
so many years – so many moons
so very much between us
and you turn a blind eye to all
forsaking a love so pure – so true
and yet i wait
and forever i will, and forever i will
i miss your touch
now so far out of reach
i miss your voice
nothing more than a faint whisper in my mind
there is nothing that i do not miss
i love you with every fiber of my being
and you let me walk out the door
you have made me into alone
you have turned me into an empty shell
i long for nothing more than you
i wish i could correct past resentments
alas, i cannot – my downfall
yet, i will forever wait
wait for a moment when you will see my love
and understand my love
so many years – so many moons
so very much between us
and you turn a blind eye to all
forsaking a love so pure – so true
and yet i wait
and forever i will, and forever i will
untitled 09.12.02.2
untitled: 091202
where did i go, when did i leave
how did i ever get there
and when will i be back
sometimes i know nothing
other than what i know of you
and there you are perched on your fence
not knowing where to go
and i sit waiting
forever waiting
for you to make up your mind
maybe i should just fade away
to turn away and never look back
but i am not sure that i can
i do not want to leave
but how long can i stay
i feel as though i am
slowly starving to death
a little part of me dies each day
has my time been wasted
will i never see a single reward
for my dedication
for my patience
will i ever know your love again
or will i just forever
love your memory
where did i go, when did i leave
how did i ever get there
and when will i be back
sometimes i know nothing
other than what i know of you
and there you are perched on your fence
not knowing where to go
and i sit waiting
forever waiting
for you to make up your mind
maybe i should just fade away
to turn away and never look back
but i am not sure that i can
i do not want to leave
but how long can i stay
i feel as though i am
slowly starving to death
a little part of me dies each day
has my time been wasted
will i never see a single reward
for my dedication
for my patience
will i ever know your love again
or will i just forever
love your memory
untitled 09.12.02
untitled
who is this who walks outside my dreams
she is real how can this be
she looks only slightly different
outside the fire’s glow
but this is she
the one i have sought my entire life
there before me in the flesh
the shock is so great
that my shroud of invisibility is gone
and now she can see me as well
and what is this
recognition in her eyes
panic sets in – what do i do
i must be as white as a sheet
i cannot feel my legs
i cannot breathe
i have to run – to get far away
how can this be
she walks only in my dreams
yet here and now i am awake
i am not in the dream realm
and so begins my love
this time here and now - awake
who is this who walks outside my dreams
she is real how can this be
she looks only slightly different
outside the fire’s glow
but this is she
the one i have sought my entire life
there before me in the flesh
the shock is so great
that my shroud of invisibility is gone
and now she can see me as well
and what is this
recognition in her eyes
panic sets in – what do i do
i must be as white as a sheet
i cannot feel my legs
i cannot breathe
i have to run – to get far away
how can this be
she walks only in my dreams
yet here and now i am awake
i am not in the dream realm
and so begins my love
this time here and now - awake
untitled 02.08.05
untitled
life is so very short so you should know
there are thoughts running through my head
and i cannot seem to shake them from my mind
am i confusing my self to no end
thoughts, they evoke feelings i do not know
or if i once knew, long forgotten now
a reawakening, i forgot everything but pain
and these thoughts drive away the pain
the music so long silent i once again hear
the roses once again have scent
senses have started to return to me
so very long they were gone
this flood, this rush, disorients me
life is so very short so you should know
my thoughts disturb me to the core
you disturb me, you distract me, you haunt me
how do i fight it when i like it
you make me forget, you make me forget, you make me forget
i don't know who you are you don't know me
what could i do to make that change
you make me feel awkward, how unsettling
i won't look you in the eye for fear you'll see
for fear that which i hide you will see
where are my words when you are near
i lose my voice, i lose myself, i lose myself
i must say the wrong things by the way you look away
i must do the wrong things by the way you turn away
you make me want to feel again
you make me want to live again
you make me want to be again
life is so very short so you should know
my thoughts disturb me to the core
you disturb me, you distract me, you haunt me
how do i fight it when i like it
you make me forget, you make me forget, you make me forget
perhaps it is because you are kind in an unkind world
perhaps it is because you smiled at me
perhaps it it is because you are safe and unattainable
whatever it is, thoughts of you fill my head
and dreams of you, enough said
what am i to do, telling you would crush me
letting you in on my secret would destroy it
i cannot bring the words to my tongue
all of this for fear of you
all of this for fear of me
all of this for fear
life is so very short so you should know
my thoughts disturb me to the core
you disturb me, you distract me, you haunt me
how do i fight it when i like it
you make me forget, you make me forget, you make me forget
life is so very short so you should know
there are thoughts running through my head
and i cannot seem to shake them from my mind
am i confusing my self to no end
thoughts, they evoke feelings i do not know
or if i once knew, long forgotten now
a reawakening, i forgot everything but pain
and these thoughts drive away the pain
the music so long silent i once again hear
the roses once again have scent
senses have started to return to me
so very long they were gone
this flood, this rush, disorients me
life is so very short so you should know
my thoughts disturb me to the core
you disturb me, you distract me, you haunt me
how do i fight it when i like it
you make me forget, you make me forget, you make me forget
i don't know who you are you don't know me
what could i do to make that change
you make me feel awkward, how unsettling
i won't look you in the eye for fear you'll see
for fear that which i hide you will see
where are my words when you are near
i lose my voice, i lose myself, i lose myself
i must say the wrong things by the way you look away
i must do the wrong things by the way you turn away
you make me want to feel again
you make me want to live again
you make me want to be again
life is so very short so you should know
my thoughts disturb me to the core
you disturb me, you distract me, you haunt me
how do i fight it when i like it
you make me forget, you make me forget, you make me forget
perhaps it is because you are kind in an unkind world
perhaps it is because you smiled at me
perhaps it it is because you are safe and unattainable
whatever it is, thoughts of you fill my head
and dreams of you, enough said
what am i to do, telling you would crush me
letting you in on my secret would destroy it
i cannot bring the words to my tongue
all of this for fear of you
all of this for fear of me
all of this for fear
life is so very short so you should know
my thoughts disturb me to the core
you disturb me, you distract me, you haunt me
how do i fight it when i like it
you make me forget, you make me forget, you make me forget
two days of nirvana 02.09.99
two days of nirvana
two days bleed into forever
no distinction between light and dark
no difference between day and night
two days fade into memories
memories that shall one day fade
memories that will one day be forgotten
two days with no need for sleep
there was even very little need for food
feeding on your beauty, on your passion
two days that can never be repeated
yet one day the may be topped
yet one day they may be surpassed
two days bleed into forever
no distinction between light and dark
no difference between day and night
two days fade into memories
memories that shall one day fade
memories that will one day be forgotten
two days with no need for sleep
there was even very little need for food
feeding on your beauty, on your passion
two days that can never be repeated
yet one day the may be topped
yet one day they may be surpassed
troubled mind 06.19.03
troubled mind
a trouble mind wanders
reeling from the dreams of the night before
foreboding of things to come
or pent up emotions from the past
often times it is difficult to discern
sometimes the dreams seem so very real
so real it is a blessing to awaken
yet the dreams linger throughout the day
persistent reminders, persistent thoughts
it is impossible to quiet the thoughts
to quiet the visions
impossible to tell dream from reality
and what is a troubled mind to do
to dwell only brings depression
to dwell only lends it power
and yet not to dwell means to ignore
and ignoring can only delay
a troubled mind wanders
dreading the dreams that will come tonight
a trouble mind wanders
reeling from the dreams of the night before
foreboding of things to come
or pent up emotions from the past
often times it is difficult to discern
sometimes the dreams seem so very real
so real it is a blessing to awaken
yet the dreams linger throughout the day
persistent reminders, persistent thoughts
it is impossible to quiet the thoughts
to quiet the visions
impossible to tell dream from reality
and what is a troubled mind to do
to dwell only brings depression
to dwell only lends it power
and yet not to dwell means to ignore
and ignoring can only delay
a troubled mind wanders
dreading the dreams that will come tonight
tree 02.25.99
tree
under that tree feeling the breeze
that tree by the spring fed stream
that wonderful old tree at the edge of the field
and you at my side under that tree
we never spoke a word but much was said
songs were sung stories were told
and lifetimes past by us like flowers in the wind
i can still smell the fresh air and you
our grand tree it is
and every time i sleep i’ll look for you there
under that tree feeling the breeze
that tree by the spring fed stream
that wonderful old tree at the edge of the field
and you at my side under that tree
we never spoke a word but much was said
songs were sung stories were told
and lifetimes past by us like flowers in the wind
i can still smell the fresh air and you
our grand tree it is
and every time i sleep i’ll look for you there
touch 02.09.99
touch
you drunken me with your touch
unspoken desires and dreams
become as clear as a mountain spring
the words i cannot say, the words i will not say
and i will not ruin them even though i hear them in your touch
and try to convey them with my touch
can you feel my words
things left unspoken matter not in your touch
you scream them so loudly
do you even know how intently my flesh listens
do you know your touch is an open book
unspoken desires and dreams
i hear them through your touch
but i will never bring them to the vocal plane
for they would loose intensity
and they would never be admitted by you or me
truly a great injustice
so i’ll listen to your touch and never speak a word
you drunken me with your touch
unspoken desires and dreams
become as clear as a mountain spring
the words i cannot say, the words i will not say
and i will not ruin them even though i hear them in your touch
and try to convey them with my touch
can you feel my words
things left unspoken matter not in your touch
you scream them so loudly
do you even know how intently my flesh listens
do you know your touch is an open book
unspoken desires and dreams
i hear them through your touch
but i will never bring them to the vocal plane
for they would loose intensity
and they would never be admitted by you or me
truly a great injustice
so i’ll listen to your touch and never speak a word
too much 02.10.05
too much
you make me feel nausea in a good way
i forgot what butterflies in the stomach felt like
my nerves are shot and i haven’t got a clue
what are you doing to me
are you blind to what you do to my mind
haven’t you the faintest notion
you are poetry in motion
words fail to express my surprise
words fail to come to light
you have tongue tied the poet in me
where do i find the words to say
when you constantly steal them away
stolen glances afflict me
with the decease of your beauty
the drug of your eyes addict me
sometimes too little is too much
you make me feel nausea in a good way
i forgot what butterflies in the stomach felt like
my nerves are shot and i haven’t got a clue
what are you doing to me
are you blind to what you do to my mind
haven’t you the faintest notion
you are poetry in motion
words fail to express my surprise
words fail to come to light
you have tongue tied the poet in me
where do i find the words to say
when you constantly steal them away
stolen glances afflict me
with the decease of your beauty
the drug of your eyes addict me
sometimes too little is too much
thinking on her 05.14.02
thinking on her
time after time i think on her
the one true love of my life
she is not the center of my happiness
but she is often times the reason for my sorrow
sometimes i think on her in anger
yet in the end it always turns to love
sometimes i think on her with regret
yet i forgive her for not forgiving me
if she were here now
i’d have to turn and walk away
for the pain would be all too great
and the tears would well up in my eyes
just like every night when i think on her
and quietly cry myself to sleep
one day maybe she’ll love me back
one day maybe we’ll walk hand in hand
one day maybe we’ll whisper our love
but that day is far and hard to see
so now, i’ll love her as i always have
and i’ll be strong on the outside
though inside strength is lacking
and as always i’ll think on her
and pretend and fantasize
that maybe she is thinking on me
time after time i think on her
the one true love of my life
she is not the center of my happiness
but she is often times the reason for my sorrow
sometimes i think on her in anger
yet in the end it always turns to love
sometimes i think on her with regret
yet i forgive her for not forgiving me
if she were here now
i’d have to turn and walk away
for the pain would be all too great
and the tears would well up in my eyes
just like every night when i think on her
and quietly cry myself to sleep
one day maybe she’ll love me back
one day maybe we’ll walk hand in hand
one day maybe we’ll whisper our love
but that day is far and hard to see
so now, i’ll love her as i always have
and i’ll be strong on the outside
though inside strength is lacking
and as always i’ll think on her
and pretend and fantasize
that maybe she is thinking on me
thank you 02.11.05
thank you
it is useless to think you feel the same
just another self delusion
yet it helps me to get by
you make me embrace life
you make me want to be so much more
thank you even though you do not know
thank you even though you have no clue
every part of me wants to tell you
every part of me wants to shout it out
every part of me save the courage to do so
for fear flattery will be the only response
and if my clues are too bold
how will i ever save face
how will i ever live it down
at least i can put words to paper
at least i can admit to myself
all of the things i cannot admit to you
perhaps you’ll never know
i’ll wait for a sign
perhaps i shall wait forever
only time will let me know
only time will let me see
where is the sign that will let me be
it is useless to think you feel the same
just another self delusion
yet it helps me to get by
you make me embrace life
you make me want to be so much more
thank you even though you do not know
thank you even though you have no clue
every part of me wants to tell you
every part of me wants to shout it out
every part of me save the courage to do so
for fear flattery will be the only response
and if my clues are too bold
how will i ever save face
how will i ever live it down
at least i can put words to paper
at least i can admit to myself
all of the things i cannot admit to you
perhaps you’ll never know
i’ll wait for a sign
perhaps i shall wait forever
only time will let me know
only time will let me see
where is the sign that will let me be
stalker
stalker
she stalks her prey silently carefully
as to not alert him to the coming kill
she slips through the shadows as silent as darkness
unsuspecting unknowing uncaring he walks
walking through the night as he always does
wanting to not know needing to not know
she gets closer almost too close almost out of the shadows
she wants him she needs him
he turns and looks but sees nothing
he steps and looks into the shadows
then he is on his way again walking
more careful she thinks more stealthy
now she can hear his heartbeat or perhaps her own
and she wonders is he even knows
wonders if he has any idea
she has stalked him for over a year now
waiting for the right moment to pounce
she wonders if it ever will
he wonders if it ever will
she stalks her prey silently carefully
as to not alert him to the coming kill
she slips through the shadows as silent as darkness
unsuspecting unknowing uncaring he walks
walking through the night as he always does
wanting to not know needing to not know
she gets closer almost too close almost out of the shadows
she wants him she needs him
he turns and looks but sees nothing
he steps and looks into the shadows
then he is on his way again walking
more careful she thinks more stealthy
now she can hear his heartbeat or perhaps her own
and she wonders is he even knows
wonders if he has any idea
she has stalked him for over a year now
waiting for the right moment to pounce
she wonders if it ever will
he wonders if it ever will
spell 11.27.93
spell
for you i wait and i’ll wait forever if i must
trust me please for it is the truth i speak i write
i am under your spell my beloved princess
and i feel that i am falling faster and faster
what do your eyes see when they see me
let them see what is there truth honesty passion
i am truly going mad perhaps
but it is only madness for you
ask and it shall be given if it is possible that i can give
what is it you seek
whatever it is find it in me
for i am here for you now and always
if only to be a friend i shall still be here
fr i am for you now and forever
i ask only one thing of you
trust me
for you i wait and i’ll wait forever if i must
trust me please for it is the truth i speak i write
i am under your spell my beloved princess
and i feel that i am falling faster and faster
what do your eyes see when they see me
let them see what is there truth honesty passion
i am truly going mad perhaps
but it is only madness for you
ask and it shall be given if it is possible that i can give
what is it you seek
whatever it is find it in me
for i am here for you now and always
if only to be a friend i shall still be here
fr i am for you now and forever
i ask only one thing of you
trust me
silent 02.12.05
silent
thou art my muse my beauty
thou art my vision my words
your voice is pure music pure music
sweet music to mine ears
you touched my heart true
you bring light to my eternal darkness
what would’st thou say
were i to proclaim my love
would’st thou shun me
or would’st thou return the phrase
oh such sweet visions i have
of your beautiful face
mirrored within my eyes
i wish to gaze upon you for eternity
to breathe your sweet breath
to feel the warmth of your touch
alas i fear i shall never know
i’ll know not of these things
other than in mine dreams
thou art my muse
bringer of words to my heart
bringer of words to paper
you my voice yet silent still am i
thou art my muse my beauty
thou art my vision my words
your voice is pure music pure music
sweet music to mine ears
you touched my heart true
you bring light to my eternal darkness
what would’st thou say
were i to proclaim my love
would’st thou shun me
or would’st thou return the phrase
oh such sweet visions i have
of your beautiful face
mirrored within my eyes
i wish to gaze upon you for eternity
to breathe your sweet breath
to feel the warmth of your touch
alas i fear i shall never know
i’ll know not of these things
other than in mine dreams
thou art my muse
bringer of words to my heart
bringer of words to paper
you my voice yet silent still am i
shoes 06.18.03
shoes
love – like a pair of your favorite shoes
and you’ll break them in with time
blisters become callous
and all you want to do is wear them all the time
sometimes they are the shoes you always wear
and sometimes they end up lost in your closet
there are days when they hurt your feet
and there are days they are your only comfort
sometimes when the soles wear thin
and you are tempted to throw them out
yet you hold them too very dear
and if the soled wear too thin
there is always the option to resole them
love – like a pair of your favorite shoes
love – like a pair of your favorite shoes
and you’ll break them in with time
blisters become callous
and all you want to do is wear them all the time
sometimes they are the shoes you always wear
and sometimes they end up lost in your closet
there are days when they hurt your feet
and there are days they are your only comfort
sometimes when the soles wear thin
and you are tempted to throw them out
yet you hold them too very dear
and if the soled wear too thin
there is always the option to resole them
love – like a pair of your favorite shoes
share my secret 02.15.05
share my secret
i give up i give in
i lose this battle
you have won my heart
what will you do with it
so much is out of my hands
i have no control
i am lost within your eyes
i am lost within you
burning passion searing my soul
i told you my secret
last night in a dream
and you turned away
an omen of the future
or fear of the present
life is too short for me not to say
too short to hold this secret
oh how i want you
to share my secret
what will you do when you know
what will you do when i say
the words i so long to say
the words i so long to whisper in your ear
will you say so long
i give up i give in
i lose this battle
you have won my heart
what will you do with it
so much is out of my hands
i have no control
i am lost within your eyes
i am lost within you
burning passion searing my soul
i told you my secret
last night in a dream
and you turned away
an omen of the future
or fear of the present
life is too short for me not to say
too short to hold this secret
oh how i want you
to share my secret
what will you do when you know
what will you do when i say
the words i so long to say
the words i so long to whisper in your ear
will you say so long
separate reality 1990
separate reality 1990
life is really hard
when you live in a separate reality
not the things you have
not the things you own
they mean nothing
when you live in a separate reality
no will to live
no guts to die
nothing is everything
in my own separate reality
not the same colors
not the same shapes
not even the same place
in my separate reality
the love i wish for
the love i get in return
why this separate reality
am i insane
or am i to claim
a separate reality
life is really hard
when you live in a separate reality
not the things you have
not the things you own
they mean nothing
when you live in a separate reality
no will to live
no guts to die
nothing is everything
in my own separate reality
not the same colors
not the same shapes
not even the same place
in my separate reality
the love i wish for
the love i get in return
why this separate reality
am i insane
or am i to claim
a separate reality
senses 02.09.99
senses 02.09.99
the taste of your blood through your skin
the scent of your passion ever present
the sound of your racing heart
the feel of your flesh next to mine
the very sight of the soul in your eyes
there are things i could forever wake to
these are things i could never loose interest in
these are things i would want for eternity
these are things i would need forever
the taste of your blood through your skin
the scent of your passion ever present
the sound of your racing heart
the feel of your flesh next to mine
the very sight of the soul in your eyes
there are things i could forever wake to
these are things i could never loose interest in
these are things i would want for eternity
these are things i would need forever
rose 02.16.05
rose
i dreamed that you asked me of a rose
you were smiling a sheepish smile
the rose you held the scent lingers in the air
you asked if it was i who sent the rose
i answered but with a smile
and your eyes said it all
the eyes of pure beauty smiling
i wonder if you shared the dream
as for the rose did you actually get it
did you really wonder who it was from
did you even suspect me at all
you did not mention you did not say
i hope that you got it i hope that you did
and i hope that you suspect it was me
you are ageless i too am ageless
the rose says it all
a single red rose
and i wonder what you’ll say
when you know it was from me
will you be surprised or shocked
will it make you think
was it enough
or perhaps too much
i dreamed that you asked me of a rose
you were smiling a sheepish smile
the rose you held the scent lingers in the air
you asked if it was i who sent the rose
i answered but with a smile
and your eyes said it all
the eyes of pure beauty smiling
i wonder if you shared the dream
as for the rose did you actually get it
did you really wonder who it was from
did you even suspect me at all
you did not mention you did not say
i hope that you got it i hope that you did
and i hope that you suspect it was me
you are ageless i too am ageless
the rose says it all
a single red rose
and i wonder what you’ll say
when you know it was from me
will you be surprised or shocked
will it make you think
was it enough
or perhaps too much
reflection
reflection
looking into the eyes of a lover
seeing the reflection of self within
always trying to look deeper and deeper
is it truly what i desire to see
can we accomplish he same end looking into a mirror
can we reflect in our own eyes what we wish to see
touching a lover and feeling great joy
can we not feel the same joy touching ourselves
can we touch the deepest part of who we are
speaking words of love to our lover
can we speak these words to ourselves
can we hear what we are really saying
can we know the depths of what we speak
yes, we look for what we need in others
when can we see that what we need is ourselves
we look for ourselves in others
why not just look to the mirror
why not look within and find what is there
the joy of the gleam in another’s eyes
the joy of bringing joy with your touch
the joy of speaking the words that you long to hear
the lover is the mirror
when the mirror is out of sight
looking into the eyes of a lover
seeing the reflection of self within
always trying to look deeper and deeper
is it truly what i desire to see
can we accomplish he same end looking into a mirror
can we reflect in our own eyes what we wish to see
touching a lover and feeling great joy
can we not feel the same joy touching ourselves
can we touch the deepest part of who we are
speaking words of love to our lover
can we speak these words to ourselves
can we hear what we are really saying
can we know the depths of what we speak
yes, we look for what we need in others
when can we see that what we need is ourselves
we look for ourselves in others
why not just look to the mirror
why not look within and find what is there
the joy of the gleam in another’s eyes
the joy of bringing joy with your touch
the joy of speaking the words that you long to hear
the lover is the mirror
when the mirror is out of sight
raindrops 02.26.05
raindrops
raindrops splash against a cold windowpane
the wind is chill and cuts so very deep
warmth is nothing more than a distant memory
dreams of growing old cloud my weary mind
words not yet written tell the tale of a far off love
love that has not yet happened and seemingly never will
dreams of happiness flood the rain-soaked path before me
trudging through the mud of a life yet lived
alone is the rain falling from the sky
raindrops falling on a tear-soaked face smiling
having not known the love of you
knowing not other than the beauty of your face
reminisce of a future that shall never be
sunset followed not by sunrise speaks of unending devotion
a night that will never be followed by daylight
raindrops singing sweet music of my muse
are you listening to their lullaby oh so serene
do you hear the words being whispered in the wind
cold hard passionate declarations of tomorrow
words not yet formed from thought
primal adoration and anguish
through my eyes wishing you could see
falling through the darkness never to land
raindrops cold and harsh cut the flesh
and penetrating shiver to the bone
lost in your eyes forever never wanting to leave
memories of times yet to come
seeking not what is already found within and without
missing you for no reason as you were never here to leave
dreaming of you standing with me
as the raindrops wash over us
the wind blows around us
telling the story of how our future grows
whispering secrets in our ears
dreaming, loving, living and dying entwined in your arms
souls mingled and joined as one spirit
raindrops falling from the sky
retelling the story of our love forever
raindrops splash against a cold windowpane
the wind is chill and cuts so very deep
warmth is nothing more than a distant memory
dreams of growing old cloud my weary mind
words not yet written tell the tale of a far off love
love that has not yet happened and seemingly never will
dreams of happiness flood the rain-soaked path before me
trudging through the mud of a life yet lived
alone is the rain falling from the sky
raindrops falling on a tear-soaked face smiling
having not known the love of you
knowing not other than the beauty of your face
reminisce of a future that shall never be
sunset followed not by sunrise speaks of unending devotion
a night that will never be followed by daylight
raindrops singing sweet music of my muse
are you listening to their lullaby oh so serene
do you hear the words being whispered in the wind
cold hard passionate declarations of tomorrow
words not yet formed from thought
primal adoration and anguish
through my eyes wishing you could see
falling through the darkness never to land
raindrops cold and harsh cut the flesh
and penetrating shiver to the bone
lost in your eyes forever never wanting to leave
memories of times yet to come
seeking not what is already found within and without
missing you for no reason as you were never here to leave
dreaming of you standing with me
as the raindrops wash over us
the wind blows around us
telling the story of how our future grows
whispering secrets in our ears
dreaming, loving, living and dying entwined in your arms
souls mingled and joined as one spirit
raindrops falling from the sky
retelling the story of our love forever
poetry enough 02.18.99
poetry enough
you are my everything and my all
you shower me with love
and make a sad soul reborn
and alive
you, so wonderful, so perfect
and to you i will be true
and you have all that i have
nothing can compare
you, you, you
and never anything more
as poems go so are you
poetry in your every word
poetry in your every movement
poetry in every look
and poetry in every smile
it is not easy to write of you
because perfection is the only word
a word that describes you so right
and i loving you and you loving me
is poetry enough
you are my everything and my all
you shower me with love
and make a sad soul reborn
and alive
you, so wonderful, so perfect
and to you i will be true
and you have all that i have
nothing can compare
you, you, you
and never anything more
as poems go so are you
poetry in your every word
poetry in your every movement
poetry in every look
and poetry in every smile
it is not easy to write of you
because perfection is the only word
a word that describes you so right
and i loving you and you loving me
is poetry enough
dreams 09.02.08
dreams
the dreams, they come, they haunt, they bleed
the glass shards of my heart spill to the ground
happiness springs forth from each shard, mirror like and cold
to grow as armor protecting vulnerabilities and stability
hardened am i by loss and gain
jaded i am by happiness and light
to be filled with the darkness that surrounds me
giving uncomfortable comfort
the dark blueberry faerie comes to me at night
she bids me drink the wine and smile
stay in this place she pleads, she bleeds
i can but turn away out of yearning
i would that i might stay, yet i turn and walk
hearing the tears i shed drop to the ground
knowing that forever away is forever
or is it what is to come that i dread
sleep well, dream well, know i'll return
offering you the wine of my own making
offering you the time that you cannot conceive
and dread me, dread what is to come
the dreams, they come, they haunt, they bleed
the glass shards of my heart spill to the ground
happiness springs forth from each shard, mirror like and cold
to grow as armor protecting vulnerabilities and stability
hardened am i by loss and gain
jaded i am by happiness and light
to be filled with the darkness that surrounds me
giving uncomfortable comfort
the dark blueberry faerie comes to me at night
she bids me drink the wine and smile
stay in this place she pleads, she bleeds
i can but turn away out of yearning
i would that i might stay, yet i turn and walk
hearing the tears i shed drop to the ground
knowing that forever away is forever
or is it what is to come that i dread
sleep well, dream well, know i'll return
offering you the wine of my own making
offering you the time that you cannot conceive
and dread me, dread what is to come
perfection 02.11.05
perfection
i dreamed of you last night
your tender kiss still in my mind
one perfect kiss one perfect kiss
some see fireworks i saw the universe
a kiss so pure i could have died happily
knowing such perfection
i can still see the look in your eyes
i can still smell your beautiful scent
i can still taste you on my lips
i can still hear your soft sigh
i still feel your lips on mine
i dreamed of you last night
and it lingers with me throughout the day
i wonder if i'll ever know such perfection awake
will i have to settle for dreams
perhaps i will know soon
until then i make my way
through my menial day
hoping the night will come soon
that i may dream of you once more
i dreamed of you last night
your tender kiss still in my mind
one perfect kiss one perfect kiss
some see fireworks i saw the universe
a kiss so pure i could have died happily
knowing such perfection
i can still see the look in your eyes
i can still smell your beautiful scent
i can still taste you on my lips
i can still hear your soft sigh
i still feel your lips on mine
i dreamed of you last night
and it lingers with me throughout the day
i wonder if i'll ever know such perfection awake
will i have to settle for dreams
perhaps i will know soon
until then i make my way
through my menial day
hoping the night will come soon
that i may dream of you once more
now we both know the truth 1991
now we both know the truth
in the cemetery with the dead
you find yourself a nice cold bed
in a place forgotten by man
but you cannot forget you never can
out you go in search of prey
the others are not so lucky on this your day
you are not man you are not beast
but who is to say what you really are
you live among them but die not with them
all others are gone yet you still stand
when will you realize that you cannot go on
when will you see the evil in your eyes i se
why will you not stop
why do you call to me
you hide in the shadows and taunt me
i do not know who or what you are
please will you share your evil secret now
for time is an abstract concept to you
but one i must live by die by
can you see who i am i am for you
call me not lest you let me reply
show yourself and let me see
in the cemetery with the dead
you take me to your nice cold bed
now we both know the truth
in the cemetery with the dead
you find yourself a nice cold bed
in a place forgotten by man
but you cannot forget you never can
out you go in search of prey
the others are not so lucky on this your day
you are not man you are not beast
but who is to say what you really are
you live among them but die not with them
all others are gone yet you still stand
when will you realize that you cannot go on
when will you see the evil in your eyes i se
why will you not stop
why do you call to me
you hide in the shadows and taunt me
i do not know who or what you are
please will you share your evil secret now
for time is an abstract concept to you
but one i must live by die by
can you see who i am i am for you
call me not lest you let me reply
show yourself and let me see
in the cemetery with the dead
you take me to your nice cold bed
now we both know the truth
never 02.15.05
never
what words would you have me speak
what words do you long to hear
what can i say i cannot speak
if i could would it fall on deaf ears
why do i torture myself so
knowing you'll not feel the same
one sided yet once again
where do i look to find what i seek
i know not i know not
words echo in my head
all the things i long to hear
all the things i long for you to speak
i admire you from afar
i secretly admire you
i don’t have the words to say
what i feel so deeply within me
forever at a distance
hiding my secret from all
and all i want is to tell
to tell you how i feel
and for you to tell me the same
yet it will never happen
yet it will never happen
what words would you have me speak
what words do you long to hear
what can i say i cannot speak
if i could would it fall on deaf ears
why do i torture myself so
knowing you'll not feel the same
one sided yet once again
where do i look to find what i seek
i know not i know not
words echo in my head
all the things i long to hear
all the things i long for you to speak
i admire you from afar
i secretly admire you
i don’t have the words to say
what i feel so deeply within me
forever at a distance
hiding my secret from all
and all i want is to tell
to tell you how i feel
and for you to tell me the same
yet it will never happen
yet it will never happen
messenger
messenger
bringing of fire to my heart and soul
messenger to my very spirit
this is what you are to me
yes i can do it alone
but you are my soul mate
my one true love
and i don’t want to let go
i don’t want you to slip away
i don’t want to loose you
i wish to overcome all that is against us
i want to stare it down
i want to conquer it
so that we can say we did it
we did that which could not be done
we mastered our love
we didn’t let anything stand in the way
we moved a mountain
please find that fire again
please speak to my spirit
but don’t wait till its too late
i can only wait forever
i hope that i don’t have to
i hope it does not come to that
because if it does we might waste another lifetime
bringing of fire to my heart and soul
messenger to my very spirit
this is what you are to me
yes i can do it alone
but you are my soul mate
my one true love
and i don’t want to let go
i don’t want you to slip away
i don’t want to loose you
i wish to overcome all that is against us
i want to stare it down
i want to conquer it
so that we can say we did it
we did that which could not be done
we mastered our love
we didn’t let anything stand in the way
we moved a mountain
please find that fire again
please speak to my spirit
but don’t wait till its too late
i can only wait forever
i hope that i don’t have to
i hope it does not come to that
because if it does we might waste another lifetime
love life love 1988
love life love
love is not what you feel on the outside
love is what you feel on the inside
love is not what you were when you started
love is who you are when you are through
love is not what you feel during
love is what you feel after
life is not what you see every day
life is what you feel every day
life is not what you want it to be
life is not always as planned
life is what you pretend to be
love is not the beginning nor the middle
love is always the end
love is not who you know
love is what you know about them
love is not what you feel during
love is what you feel after
love is not what you feel on the outside
love is what you feel on the inside
love is not what you were when you started
love is who you are when you are through
love is not what you feel during
love is what you feel after
life is not what you see every day
life is what you feel every day
life is not what you want it to be
life is not always as planned
life is what you pretend to be
love is not the beginning nor the middle
love is always the end
love is not who you know
love is what you know about them
love is not what you feel during
love is what you feel after
long for your touch 02.27.05
long for your touch
a dream of you night after night
your beautiful face with me throughout the day
i hold to my thoughts of you
i hold to my love of you
though you are not by my side
i feel you there each and every day
and would have it no other way
i long for your touch
a dream of you night after night
your beautiful face with me throughout the day
i hold to my thoughts of you
i hold to my love of you
though you are not by my side
i feel you there each and every day
and would have it no other way
i long for your touch
knowing 02.10.05
knowing 02.10.05
am i too obvious do you know
is my secret still safe i fear not
surely after today you’ll figure it out
and then what am i to do
perhaps you’ll just pretend ignorance
or perhaps you’ll just ignore
how will i ever know do i want to
i feel like a child once again
insecure with a crush
is it more can it be more
or will it simply fall by the wayside
why do you affect me so
who are you i want to know
what do you desire what do you dream
will the moment come for me to know
or will i just pretend
you never touched me my soul
you must know how i feel
written all over me it is
is the connection true
i soon shall know
i soon shall know
when will you let me know
am i too obvious do you know
is my secret still safe i fear not
surely after today you’ll figure it out
and then what am i to do
perhaps you’ll just pretend ignorance
or perhaps you’ll just ignore
how will i ever know do i want to
i feel like a child once again
insecure with a crush
is it more can it be more
or will it simply fall by the wayside
why do you affect me so
who are you i want to know
what do you desire what do you dream
will the moment come for me to know
or will i just pretend
you never touched me my soul
you must know how i feel
written all over me it is
is the connection true
i soon shall know
i soon shall know
when will you let me know
i wish 1991
i wish
i wish i could sing
so that i could sing to you
i wish i could carry a tune
i would carry it to you
i wish that i could smile
i would smile at you
i wish i could laugh
i would laugh with you
i wish i could see
i would look upon you
i wish i could think
i would think of you
i wish i could live
i would live for you
i wish i could die
i would die for you
i wish i could kiss
i would kiss you
i wish i could touch
i would touch you
if i could wake up
i would tell you
i wish i could sing
so that i could sing to you
i wish i could carry a tune
i would carry it to you
i wish that i could smile
i would smile at you
i wish i could laugh
i would laugh with you
i wish i could see
i would look upon you
i wish i could think
i would think of you
i wish i could live
i would live for you
i wish i could die
i would die for you
i wish i could kiss
i would kiss you
i wish i could touch
i would touch you
if i could wake up
i would tell you
i want 02.12.05
i want
i want you to know my heart
i want you to know my soul
gaze deeply into my eyes
see the longing there
see me for what i am
see me for who i am
i have nothing to offer
i have nothing to give
save all of me save all of me
i’ll offer you all that i have
i’ll give you all of me
will you take me in your arms
will you embrace my soul
will you allow me to fall deeply in love
can you even imagine falling for me
can you see yourself loving me
all i want is everything
all i want is you
all i want is what i cannot have
i want you to know my heart
i want you to know my soul
i want i want i want
you
i want you to know my heart
i want you to know my soul
gaze deeply into my eyes
see the longing there
see me for what i am
see me for who i am
i have nothing to offer
i have nothing to give
save all of me save all of me
i’ll offer you all that i have
i’ll give you all of me
will you take me in your arms
will you embrace my soul
will you allow me to fall deeply in love
can you even imagine falling for me
can you see yourself loving me
all i want is everything
all i want is you
all i want is what i cannot have
i want you to know my heart
i want you to know my soul
i want i want i want
you
i see you 02.13.05
i see you
i see your face in the clouds
i hear your voice in every rain drop
i feel your touch on the wind
i close my eyes and you are there
oh how i wish to wake with you by my side
every song i hear reminds me of you
how i wish i could sing to you
my words are lacking and feeble
how could you ever want me
i am nothing but words on paper
perhaps you misunderstand
perhaps you take me too lightly
i want nothing more
than to write you poetry for eternity
how i wish you would want that
how i wish that you would want me
i see you in my mind
wanting me loving me
why do i pretend
why do i hold my secret so
my words of you are true
i hold to my secret
i see you i want you i see you
i see your face in the clouds
i hear your voice in every rain drop
i feel your touch on the wind
i close my eyes and you are there
oh how i wish to wake with you by my side
every song i hear reminds me of you
how i wish i could sing to you
my words are lacking and feeble
how could you ever want me
i am nothing but words on paper
perhaps you misunderstand
perhaps you take me too lightly
i want nothing more
than to write you poetry for eternity
how i wish you would want that
how i wish that you would want me
i see you in my mind
wanting me loving me
why do i pretend
why do i hold my secret so
my words of you are true
i hold to my secret
i see you i want you i see you
i love you 03.09.90
i love you
i love you
love has four letter
of which i am true
very much true
every time i think of you
you love me
or do you not
unless i am true
like clouds and rain
oh we cause each other much pain
very much the same
even if we show no shame
my love you are
even though you are far
love is forever
or does it end with death
very much i wish i knew
even though we are two
is it not that we are also one
so which are we one or two
for we are to be
or were made to be
remember me
every time you see the rain
very much we are we
everything we are
remember i think of you as part of me
i love you
love has four letter
of which i am true
very much true
every time i think of you
you love me
or do you not
unless i am true
like clouds and rain
oh we cause each other much pain
very much the same
even if we show no shame
my love you are
even though you are far
love is forever
or does it end with death
very much i wish i knew
even though we are two
is it not that we are also one
so which are we one or two
for we are to be
or were made to be
remember me
every time you see the rain
very much we are we
everything we are
remember i think of you as part of me
i do not know 02.15.05
i do not know 02.15.05
my fears reveal me for who i am
a scared little boy knowing nothing
i let myself down once again
did i cause you doubt
or did it reinforce
did it even do anything at all
perhaps all it did was show my ignorance
i can misread anything
and craft it to my will
i can delude my every thought
and see that which is not there
i fear to see your face
i fear to hear your voice
for fear of what i feel is but within me
i shall treat it as casual as i can
with no indication for you
for fear you’ll break my illusion
you are every woman
i see you within every woman
is what i feel real
am i real
i do not know
i do not know
my fears reveal me for who i am
a scared little boy knowing nothing
i let myself down once again
did i cause you doubt
or did it reinforce
did it even do anything at all
perhaps all it did was show my ignorance
i can misread anything
and craft it to my will
i can delude my every thought
and see that which is not there
i fear to see your face
i fear to hear your voice
for fear of what i feel is but within me
i shall treat it as casual as i can
with no indication for you
for fear you’ll break my illusion
you are every woman
i see you within every woman
is what i feel real
am i real
i do not know
i do not know
i am just a no one in a some one’s land 1991
i am just a no one in a some one’s land
i am just a no one in a some one’s land
things don’t come easy not all is as planned
i am just a nothing in a something’s land
places, things and faces i do not understand
i am just a nobody in a somebody’s land
just a pawn in the chess game of life
a character in a book am i
a figment of one’s imagination
just a part of someone’s dream
no form or shape have i been give
i am just a no one in a someone’s land
not of this place not of this world
just a stranger in a strange land
about me no one knows
i am just a nothing in a something’s land
no one knows how i feel
i am just a nobody in a somebody’s land
the things is i am among my own kind
they know not of me not of my being
they are my friends yet they know not
all i have seen and heard are foreign
how can a nobody like me love a somebody like her
i know nothing of a something’s love
can a no one, nothing, nobody
love a someone, something, somebody
i am just a no one and a someone’s land
i am just a no one in a some one’s land
things don’t come easy not all is as planned
i am just a nothing in a something’s land
places, things and faces i do not understand
i am just a nobody in a somebody’s land
just a pawn in the chess game of life
a character in a book am i
a figment of one’s imagination
just a part of someone’s dream
no form or shape have i been give
i am just a no one in a someone’s land
not of this place not of this world
just a stranger in a strange land
about me no one knows
i am just a nothing in a something’s land
no one knows how i feel
i am just a nobody in a somebody’s land
the things is i am among my own kind
they know not of me not of my being
they are my friends yet they know not
all i have seen and heard are foreign
how can a nobody like me love a somebody like her
i know nothing of a something’s love
can a no one, nothing, nobody
love a someone, something, somebody
i am just a no one and a someone’s land
how do i say 02.17.05
how do i say 02.17.05
i so want to tell you how i feel
and to have you feel the same
where have my words gone today
i still wonder if you have no idea
the raging storm within my mind
i would have you know i dream of you
i would have you know you are on my mind
i would speak the words if i could
yet you have me so tongue tied
if i spoke it would not be clear
how i long to say
if only i could find the words
words on paper fail to express
how much i long for your caress
how dizzy i feel when you are near
how i cannot concentrate throughout the day
how you make me feel when you say my name
how i feel so deeply for you
how i want to know everything about you
how do i say
the things i long to say
how do i say
i so want to tell you how i feel
and to have you feel the same
where have my words gone today
i still wonder if you have no idea
the raging storm within my mind
i would have you know i dream of you
i would have you know you are on my mind
i would speak the words if i could
yet you have me so tongue tied
if i spoke it would not be clear
how i long to say
if only i could find the words
words on paper fail to express
how much i long for your caress
how dizzy i feel when you are near
how i cannot concentrate throughout the day
how you make me feel when you say my name
how i feel so deeply for you
how i want to know everything about you
how do i say
the things i long to say
how do i say
forever silent 02.15.05
forever silent
such pure torture of not knowing
such pure comfort in not knowing
when you know will you simply forget
i am a wreck i am disoriented
i stumble through the day
with the facade of strength
truth be i am so very weak
i am nothing no quality nothing to offer
i am but a hopeless romantic
what i desire i’ll never have
my passion is my only possession
yours for the taking
yet you will not you cannot
this i know i accept this not
but i must there is no other way
i have nothing to offer
i have nothing to give
sometimes the fantasy
is much more real than reality
i shall step away i shall step away
i will let you alone
i will leave you be
i will stay forever silent
such pure torture of not knowing
such pure comfort in not knowing
when you know will you simply forget
i am a wreck i am disoriented
i stumble through the day
with the facade of strength
truth be i am so very weak
i am nothing no quality nothing to offer
i am but a hopeless romantic
what i desire i’ll never have
my passion is my only possession
yours for the taking
yet you will not you cannot
this i know i accept this not
but i must there is no other way
i have nothing to offer
i have nothing to give
sometimes the fantasy
is much more real than reality
i shall step away i shall step away
i will let you alone
i will leave you be
i will stay forever silent
fell 11.21.93
fell
oh sweet beauty that fell into my life by chance
young lovely creature where have you been all these days
woman of my most hidden dreams and desires
you bring meaning to a meaningless void
one who speaks of perfect places and worlds
and when in your arms i am in a perfect world
a world of splendor, a world without pain
you bring this world to me an oh how glorious
you bless my existence to no end
shy we are but not with one another
a flood of thoughts ramble on and on
yet to say anything is oft times a chore
it is strange the way i feel
i feel every emotion at once multiplied ten fold
and one emotion stands above all
one deadly emotion
and emotion so wrong yet so right
an unspeakable emotion
will i ever have the nerve to name it
oh sweet beauty that fell into my life by chance
young lovely creature where have you been all these days
woman of my most hidden dreams and desires
you bring meaning to a meaningless void
one who speaks of perfect places and worlds
and when in your arms i am in a perfect world
a world of splendor, a world without pain
you bring this world to me an oh how glorious
you bless my existence to no end
shy we are but not with one another
a flood of thoughts ramble on and on
yet to say anything is oft times a chore
it is strange the way i feel
i feel every emotion at once multiplied ten fold
and one emotion stands above all
one deadly emotion
and emotion so wrong yet so right
an unspeakable emotion
will i ever have the nerve to name it
fear 02.17.05
fear
is it all in my mind
do i misinterpret
i fear so i fear so
you feel nothing for me
you know nothing of me
i fear so i fear so
it has never entered your mind
you are oblivious to me
i exist i am
see me i am there
will you look my way
i fear not i fear not
i fear to speak
to bring my words to light
for fear of rejection
for fear of your reaction
this game is only in my mind
i fear so i fear so
i wish to let you know
i wish to tell you so
will i find the courage
will i speak my mind
i fear not i fear not
is it all in my mind
do i misinterpret
i fear so i fear so
you feel nothing for me
you know nothing of me
i fear so i fear so
it has never entered your mind
you are oblivious to me
i exist i am
see me i am there
will you look my way
i fear not i fear not
i fear to speak
to bring my words to light
for fear of rejection
for fear of your reaction
this game is only in my mind
i fear so i fear so
i wish to let you know
i wish to tell you so
will i find the courage
will i speak my mind
i fear not i fear not
evoli and three 1989
evoli and three
one enchanted beauty of sorrow is
on enchanted key of possession lost
lost from the view of my mortal eyes has
given me the quest of therefor finding
the key that i should learn to hold to me
and open the sorrow be it no more
the castle on the far reach understands me not
and a dream of visions coming true she and me
come back my lost vision that i may see
of fallen grandeur such as ozymandias be
help me on my quest so that i may never leave
of daemons and dragons and creatures of the night
of castles and wizards and magicks of the life
of life love and no hate and feelings of the heart
of dreams of and lost love and powers of the mind
these things i shall seek and low these things i shall find
of life’s lost solemn promise may it be
of life’s solemn love give it to me
to deceive a phrase you are everything
of mozart’s music be them songs of love
of my strong love is my thoughts are of all
that he is no longer remembered by himself
is his fear of loosing her to someone of else
be they may they be no more lay it on the shelf
and whence they leave oh heavenly love find themselves
in each others arms loving each others self
of lightning and thunder and raining in the dark
of loving and hatred and let there not be two
of lying and cheating let there be neither nor
for found i have a love so true a love for life
and there it will be evoli and three
and here it will be and for she and me
i have discovered what is of the key
one enchanted beauty of sorrow is
one enchanted key of possession lost
i discovered that the key must be me
one enchanted beauty of sorrow is
on enchanted key of possession lost
lost from the view of my mortal eyes has
given me the quest of therefor finding
the key that i should learn to hold to me
and open the sorrow be it no more
the castle on the far reach understands me not
and a dream of visions coming true she and me
come back my lost vision that i may see
of fallen grandeur such as ozymandias be
help me on my quest so that i may never leave
of daemons and dragons and creatures of the night
of castles and wizards and magicks of the life
of life love and no hate and feelings of the heart
of dreams of and lost love and powers of the mind
these things i shall seek and low these things i shall find
of life’s lost solemn promise may it be
of life’s solemn love give it to me
to deceive a phrase you are everything
of mozart’s music be them songs of love
of my strong love is my thoughts are of all
that he is no longer remembered by himself
is his fear of loosing her to someone of else
be they may they be no more lay it on the shelf
and whence they leave oh heavenly love find themselves
in each others arms loving each others self
of lightning and thunder and raining in the dark
of loving and hatred and let there not be two
of lying and cheating let there be neither nor
for found i have a love so true a love for life
and there it will be evoli and three
and here it will be and for she and me
i have discovered what is of the key
one enchanted beauty of sorrow is
one enchanted key of possession lost
i discovered that the key must be me
ecstasy of you 02.11.05
ecstasy of you
pen to paper this is my voice
the only way i know to sing to you
do you hear my melody
pen to paper this is my heart
my words straight from the heart
my words straight to your heart
pen to paper this is my soul
calling out to your soul
calling out to your soul
you intrigue me my beautiful
you interest me my sweet
i wish to drink of your fountain
i wish to be lost in you
i long to look deeply into your eyes
and to touch your face
gently oh so gently
i yearn to press my lips to your neck
and to feel your breath upon me
i ache to run my fingers through your hair
and to have you run your fingers through mine
will i ever know the joy of these
will i ever know the ecstasy of you
pen to paper this is my voice
the only way i know to sing to you
do you hear my melody
pen to paper this is my heart
my words straight from the heart
my words straight to your heart
pen to paper this is my soul
calling out to your soul
calling out to your soul
you intrigue me my beautiful
you interest me my sweet
i wish to drink of your fountain
i wish to be lost in you
i long to look deeply into your eyes
and to touch your face
gently oh so gently
i yearn to press my lips to your neck
and to feel your breath upon me
i ache to run my fingers through your hair
and to have you run your fingers through mine
will i ever know the joy of these
will i ever know the ecstasy of you
dreams 02.20.05
dreams
morning- i awake in a daze
dreams of you still fresh yet fuzzy
i remember not your words, just the beauty of you
these dreams will linger throughout my day
bringing me brief moments of joy
i find myself smiling for no reason other than you
so many dreams i would that they come true
dreams of subtle passion giving me life
i desire not to possess you nor to be possessed by you
i desire not to chain you nor to be chained by you
i desire not to cage you nor to be caged by you
i desire only the union of two souls
i desire only what i give to be returned
i desire love, passion and understanding
i would give myself to you were you to ask
unconditionally i would offer myself
a taste of eternal love, just a taste
with the ability to grow together
to intertwine our lives our love our passion
that it may grow forever and always
yet, it is but a dream
a dream of growing old within each others embrace
a dream of something lasting and whole
a dream of completing one another
a dream of two souls together united
what do your dreams hold
what is it that you desire
do you dream of me
do you desire me
or is it just my dream
morning- i awake in a daze
dreams of you still fresh yet fuzzy
i remember not your words, just the beauty of you
these dreams will linger throughout my day
bringing me brief moments of joy
i find myself smiling for no reason other than you
so many dreams i would that they come true
dreams of subtle passion giving me life
i desire not to possess you nor to be possessed by you
i desire not to chain you nor to be chained by you
i desire not to cage you nor to be caged by you
i desire only the union of two souls
i desire only what i give to be returned
i desire love, passion and understanding
i would give myself to you were you to ask
unconditionally i would offer myself
a taste of eternal love, just a taste
with the ability to grow together
to intertwine our lives our love our passion
that it may grow forever and always
yet, it is but a dream
a dream of growing old within each others embrace
a dream of something lasting and whole
a dream of completing one another
a dream of two souls together united
what do your dreams hold
what is it that you desire
do you dream of me
do you desire me
or is it just my dream
dreaming 03.07.05
dreaming
dreaming of times yet to come
dreaming of times of the past
time so incoherent and confusing
i so miss seeing your beautiful face
am left with only dreams of you
sometimes the dreams are quite enough
other times they leave me wanting
one day will i see your face again
one day will i know your touch
dreams tell the story of what i wish to have
yet dreams fail in comparison
to that wish i truly desire
when will i ever find that balance
when will i ever feel complete
not yesterday and not today perhaps tomorrow
i lead myself on
i tell myself there is a chance
yet i know i lie to myself
telling myself dreams will come true
when i know that they will not
yet the dreams still remain
feeding my wishes feeding my hope
dreaming of you is always so sweet
dreaming of times yet to come
dreaming of times of the past
time so incoherent and confusing
i so miss seeing your beautiful face
am left with only dreams of you
sometimes the dreams are quite enough
other times they leave me wanting
one day will i see your face again
one day will i know your touch
dreams tell the story of what i wish to have
yet dreams fail in comparison
to that wish i truly desire
when will i ever find that balance
when will i ever feel complete
not yesterday and not today perhaps tomorrow
i lead myself on
i tell myself there is a chance
yet i know i lie to myself
telling myself dreams will come true
when i know that they will not
yet the dreams still remain
feeding my wishes feeding my hope
dreaming of you is always so sweet
do you see 02.20.05
do you see
what do you see when you look at me
what i would give to see through your eyes for a moment
just to see what you see when you look at me
do you see me as i am
do you see me as a poet
do you see me as a child
do you see me as a man
do you see me looking back at you
do you see the love in my eyes
what do you see when you look at me
do you see me
what do you see when you look at me
what i would give to see through your eyes for a moment
just to see what you see when you look at me
do you see me as i am
do you see me as a poet
do you see me as a child
do you see me as a man
do you see me looking back at you
do you see the love in my eyes
what do you see when you look at me
do you see me
do you mind 02.10.05
do you mind
cannot sleep my mind is alive
think perhaps i forgot to eat today
what is this confusion i feel
so very hard to focus on anything but you
you enter my mind at inappropriate times
and then you refuse to leave
get out of my mind do you mind
i do not recall inviting you there
you are wearing my defenses thin
you are wearing me down down down
get out of my mind do you mind
i thought today i would tell you
here we go again i lost my words
here we go again i lost my nerve
here we go again i lost my self
in your face in your eyes
here we go again here we go again
get out of my mind do you mind
i do not recall inviting you there
you are wearing my defenses thin
you are wearing me down down down
get out of my mind do you mind
another day lost deep in contemplation
you awaken me every sensation
my secret to reveal
and how do you make me feel
so much so much so much
i didn't want to know
i didn't want you to know
get out of my mind do you mind
i do not recall inviting you there
you are wearing my defenses thin
you are wearing me down down down
get out of my mind do you mind
get out get out get out
get out of my mind do you mind
do you ever mind
cannot sleep my mind is alive
think perhaps i forgot to eat today
what is this confusion i feel
so very hard to focus on anything but you
you enter my mind at inappropriate times
and then you refuse to leave
get out of my mind do you mind
i do not recall inviting you there
you are wearing my defenses thin
you are wearing me down down down
get out of my mind do you mind
i thought today i would tell you
here we go again i lost my words
here we go again i lost my nerve
here we go again i lost my self
in your face in your eyes
here we go again here we go again
get out of my mind do you mind
i do not recall inviting you there
you are wearing my defenses thin
you are wearing me down down down
get out of my mind do you mind
another day lost deep in contemplation
you awaken me every sensation
my secret to reveal
and how do you make me feel
so much so much so much
i didn't want to know
i didn't want you to know
get out of my mind do you mind
i do not recall inviting you there
you are wearing my defenses thin
you are wearing me down down down
get out of my mind do you mind
get out get out get out
get out of my mind do you mind
do you ever mind
dead of the night 01.09.02
dead of the night
awakening in the dead of the night
i reached for you but you were not there
the covers are cold on your side of the bed
i reached further yet nothing was there
i called your name softly only to hear silence
where did you go i sit up in the darkness
waiting for my eyes to adjust
i look around in a sleepy daze groggy
then it hits me you are not here
you are miles from me in your own bed
and my hear sinks with the realization
you are not gone i am
awakening in the dead of the night
i reached for you but you were not there
the covers are cold on your side of the bed
i reached further yet nothing was there
i called your name softly only to hear silence
where did you go i sit up in the darkness
waiting for my eyes to adjust
i look around in a sleepy daze groggy
then it hits me you are not here
you are miles from me in your own bed
and my hear sinks with the realization
you are not gone i am
cryptic doubt 02.10.05
cryptic doubt
how many times i have dismissed
the thoughts just tend to return
what would you say if you knew
my heart and mind and soul
yearn i do for your touch
my flesh now aches
i feel intoxicated with the thought
how do you feel i want to know
you are blind how contagious
you have infected me
with the thoughts of you running through
my head aches with the memory
oh how i wish to feel no more pain
setting myself up for a fall
as i fall deeper
for you know nothing
of my deepest desires and dreams
of you i know nothing
i want you to know
the truth i’ll never tell
how much i really feel
for you have poisoned me
with your beauty and your touch
how many times i have dismissed
the thoughts just tend to return
what would you say if you knew
my heart and mind and soul
yearn i do for your touch
my flesh now aches
i feel intoxicated with the thought
how do you feel i want to know
you are blind how contagious
you have infected me
with the thoughts of you running through
my head aches with the memory
oh how i wish to feel no more pain
setting myself up for a fall
as i fall deeper
for you know nothing
of my deepest desires and dreams
of you i know nothing
i want you to know
the truth i’ll never tell
how much i really feel
for you have poisoned me
with your beauty and your touch
courage 02.14.05
courage
i feel that i may have made a mistake
i have that sinking feeling of regret
why do i do these things to myself
you’ve never once given me indication
i built it all in my head
i made it all up
you don’t even know i exist
or if you do you have no interest
well self delusion is my talent
quite good at it am i
still the thoughts bring me joy
seeing your beautiful face
still makes my heart skip a beat
i wish for so much more
but that is just a dream
you’ll not turn my way
you’ll not make my day
worry not i am well versed
in rejection i know
forever alone in my thoughts
without the courage for actions
one day may i have the courage
one day may i not be alone
i feel that i may have made a mistake
i have that sinking feeling of regret
why do i do these things to myself
you’ve never once given me indication
i built it all in my head
i made it all up
you don’t even know i exist
or if you do you have no interest
well self delusion is my talent
quite good at it am i
still the thoughts bring me joy
seeing your beautiful face
still makes my heart skip a beat
i wish for so much more
but that is just a dream
you’ll not turn my way
you’ll not make my day
worry not i am well versed
in rejection i know
forever alone in my thoughts
without the courage for actions
one day may i have the courage
one day may i not be alone
confusion again 02.15.05
confusion again
are you dense or are you playing a game
or is it i the one playing
i can justify each and every word
i can turn any phrase
the game eats at my defenses
the game is wearing me thin
am i too subtle or is it written all over me
tell me to stop and i will
tell me it is all in my mind
and i’ll think of other things
speak not and i’ll continue
continue playing the game
why must i always be so confused
i know not the game being played
i know not the rules
am i breaking all the rules
are you breaking all the rules
what are you doing to me
what am i doing to me
i am so confused
i just cannot figure it out
are you dense or are you playing a game
or is it i the one playing
i can justify each and every word
i can turn any phrase
the game eats at my defenses
the game is wearing me thin
am i too subtle or is it written all over me
tell me to stop and i will
tell me it is all in my mind
and i’ll think of other things
speak not and i’ll continue
continue playing the game
why must i always be so confused
i know not the game being played
i know not the rules
am i breaking all the rules
are you breaking all the rules
what are you doing to me
what am i doing to me
i am so confused
i just cannot figure it out
chance 02.17.05
chance
i wish you had replied i wish you had
i just want to know if there is a chance
a chance that you may feel the same
a chance this could go further
what is in your mind
do you have any idea how i feel
any idea how much i feel for you
how do my words make you feel
how do my words measure up
you don’t let me know
you leave me guessing
the words i write for you
falling on blind eyes
maybe i should just come out and say it
tell you that my thoughts are of you
tell you that my dreams are of you
no risk no reward as they say
i don’t know if i can
it seems so insurmountable
this insurrection of my thoughts
what am i to do
what am i to say
a chance is all i ask
i wish you had replied i wish you had
i just want to know if there is a chance
a chance that you may feel the same
a chance this could go further
what is in your mind
do you have any idea how i feel
any idea how much i feel for you
how do my words make you feel
how do my words measure up
you don’t let me know
you leave me guessing
the words i write for you
falling on blind eyes
maybe i should just come out and say it
tell you that my thoughts are of you
tell you that my dreams are of you
no risk no reward as they say
i don’t know if i can
it seems so insurmountable
this insurrection of my thoughts
what am i to do
what am i to say
a chance is all i ask
casual lie 02.10.05
casual lie
you take my hand in yours
how much longer can i even pretend
that the mere thought is electric
i feel it all the way to my soul
it feels all too familiar
have we done this before
in another time in another place
you should know i take this not lightly
as casual as i may seem
i am fighting the battle in my mind
a battle i fear i may not win
and what am i to do when i lose
what am i to do when you finally realize
where will i run to then
if i were to but open my eyes
would i see a future of my liking
i wonder if it were to hold you
what would i do
if i reached out for you
what would you do
would you take my hand in yours
you take my hand in yours
how much longer can i even pretend
that the mere thought is electric
i feel it all the way to my soul
it feels all too familiar
have we done this before
in another time in another place
you should know i take this not lightly
as casual as i may seem
i am fighting the battle in my mind
a battle i fear i may not win
and what am i to do when i lose
what am i to do when you finally realize
where will i run to then
if i were to but open my eyes
would i see a future of my liking
i wonder if it were to hold you
what would i do
if i reached out for you
what would you do
would you take my hand in yours
casual 1990
casual
hair of gold catches my eye
please don’t pass me by
she sits and oh how i start
it is the girl of my dreams
love at first sight yes it is true
oh how i love thee
the one i saw in the mists of my mind
we finally found one another
i love you is what i long to hear
a love such as yours is all i dream of
more than the beetles could express with song
without you all there can be is sorrow
love poems are for lovers
this is an in love poem
a am in love
you are you in love
you are the universe
so visible yet so very far out of reach
so beautiful so wonderful so perfect
and i the casual observer
hair of gold catches my eye
please don’t pass me by
she sits and oh how i start
it is the girl of my dreams
love at first sight yes it is true
oh how i love thee
the one i saw in the mists of my mind
we finally found one another
i love you is what i long to hear
a love such as yours is all i dream of
more than the beetles could express with song
without you all there can be is sorrow
love poems are for lovers
this is an in love poem
a am in love
you are you in love
you are the universe
so visible yet so very far out of reach
so beautiful so wonderful so perfect
and i the casual observer
betrayal by aphrodite 12.21.01
betrayal by aphrodite
and i hephaestus worker of metals for those on high
cast from above by my divine father
unpleasing to the eye and lame
it was i who wed the beautiful aphrodite
i hephaestus god of working metal
given the prize of aphrodite’s hand
i hephaestus betrayed by my love
children i called my own
children i loved as my own
betrayed by my beautiful aphrodite
i hephaestus blinded by love
betrayed by my own brother
betrayed by my lack of sight
i hephaestus lonely blacksmith to the gods
and i hephaestus worker of metals for those on high
cast from above by my divine father
unpleasing to the eye and lame
it was i who wed the beautiful aphrodite
i hephaestus god of working metal
given the prize of aphrodite’s hand
i hephaestus betrayed by my love
children i called my own
children i loved as my own
betrayed by my beautiful aphrodite
i hephaestus blinded by love
betrayed by my own brother
betrayed by my lack of sight
i hephaestus lonely blacksmith to the gods
beloved 02.18.99
beloved
souls mingle love is formed
of fair maiden oh so sweet
and passion and all that is
true love, oh so true, uncontrollable
unconditional
a touch and oh so exciting
love burns within me power
sweet sweet power in love
none other so wonderful
life
find me true find me
and i love thee more than life
not even in death will my love end
for lifetimes to come you will be
within mine heart mine soul
beloved
souls mingle love is formed
of fair maiden oh so sweet
and passion and all that is
true love, oh so true, uncontrollable
unconditional
a touch and oh so exciting
love burns within me power
sweet sweet power in love
none other so wonderful
life
find me true find me
and i love thee more than life
not even in death will my love end
for lifetimes to come you will be
within mine heart mine soul
beloved
beginning with no end 02.09.99
beginning with no end
the freshness of the very first kiss
the anticipation of the first touch
the newness of the beginning of forever
a rebirth of deepest feelings
a renewal of lost emotions
the remembrance of forgotten pleasures
a joy of finding lost sacredness
the beauty of past dreams flooding back
bringing me back to who i once was
making me never want to go back to who i became
the freshness of the very first kiss
the anticipation of the first touch
the newness of the beginning of forever
a rebirth of deepest feelings
a renewal of lost emotions
the remembrance of forgotten pleasures
a joy of finding lost sacredness
the beauty of past dreams flooding back
bringing me back to who i once was
making me never want to go back to who i became
balance 02.15.05
balance
what do i say about today
my nerves are wracked with confusion
balance me with your scales
yet watch for my sting
balance me complete me
show me the way to your heart
that i may bring it joy
that i may bring it love
show me of your beauty
show me your dreams and desires
that i may be a part of you
show me your heart
and i shall show you my love
each and every day romance
each and every day passion
each and every day love
balance my unbalanced heart
give me but a sign
a whisper a look a touch
give me hope give me life
and in return you shall never want
i'll teach you what love is
balance me with your scales
what do i say about today
my nerves are wracked with confusion
balance me with your scales
yet watch for my sting
balance me complete me
show me the way to your heart
that i may bring it joy
that i may bring it love
show me of your beauty
show me your dreams and desires
that i may be a part of you
show me your heart
and i shall show you my love
each and every day romance
each and every day passion
each and every day love
balance my unbalanced heart
give me but a sign
a whisper a look a touch
give me hope give me life
and in return you shall never want
i'll teach you what love is
balance me with your scales
ask 02.14.05
ask
what will tomorrow bring
just another day seeing your face
may drive me over the edge
i may just blurt it out
i may just tell you my secret
i’ll wait till you ask
i’ll wait till you ask
then perhaps i’ll just lie
or skirt the truth
or at very least i’ll be vague
do the deeds of today go unnoticed
do they go unrewarded i’ll not know
but for my deep secret
i’ll wait for you to ask
i fear i shall be waiting a long time
it would be sad to think i will
sad to wait too long
just ask me and i will reveal all
just ask me and i shall tell you true
i’ll tell you how i feel about you
i’ll be waiting for you to ask
i’ll be waiting for you to ask
what will tomorrow bring
just another day seeing your face
may drive me over the edge
i may just blurt it out
i may just tell you my secret
i’ll wait till you ask
i’ll wait till you ask
then perhaps i’ll just lie
or skirt the truth
or at very least i’ll be vague
do the deeds of today go unnoticed
do they go unrewarded i’ll not know
but for my deep secret
i’ll wait for you to ask
i fear i shall be waiting a long time
it would be sad to think i will
sad to wait too long
just ask me and i will reveal all
just ask me and i shall tell you true
i’ll tell you how i feel about you
i’ll be waiting for you to ask
i’ll be waiting for you to ask
as one 02.18.99
as one
by the light of the flame of my passion
i write this to you my love
and oh i think of that time
the time when we can again be together
oh passionate day, oh how sweet
when that day comes to pass
that day a continuation of forever
glorious, glorious of all days
when we once again join hands
and gaze into one another’s eyes
how i long to hold you in my arms
and whisper my love to you
and hear your whispers in return
like music to mine ears, my all
you are all there is, all there ever was
you my sweet princess and i your knight
you, my love, are all i want, need
and i hope for the same in return
and yes i know it to be true
two souls as one
by the light of the flame of my passion
i write this to you my love
and oh i think of that time
the time when we can again be together
oh passionate day, oh how sweet
when that day comes to pass
that day a continuation of forever
glorious, glorious of all days
when we once again join hands
and gaze into one another’s eyes
how i long to hold you in my arms
and whisper my love to you
and hear your whispers in return
like music to mine ears, my all
you are all there is, all there ever was
you my sweet princess and i your knight
you, my love, are all i want, need
and i hope for the same in return
and yes i know it to be true
two souls as one
around us 02.18.99
around us
a rose sweet and beauty love and life mine
a flower yet so strong and haunting me
a drug so intoxicating so right
a woman tender and lovely to behold
a love and keeps me to make me whole once again
a secret for a while will survive me
a pain not having your sweet form near me
and my sweet and you are mine and i yours
forever
in days of rain i see your face in the clouds
in days of sun i feel the warmth of your flesh
a tear comes to my eye single and perfect
the be near to be close to be with you
i yearn to be with you my love
an ache with the pain of the ages for you
for you my rose my perfect rose
you are so far from me my love
and i so far from you
one day to be so complete so perfect
to again hold you in my arms
and let the world grow old around us
a rose sweet and beauty love and life mine
a flower yet so strong and haunting me
a drug so intoxicating so right
a woman tender and lovely to behold
a love and keeps me to make me whole once again
a secret for a while will survive me
a pain not having your sweet form near me
and my sweet and you are mine and i yours
forever
in days of rain i see your face in the clouds
in days of sun i feel the warmth of your flesh
a tear comes to my eye single and perfect
the be near to be close to be with you
i yearn to be with you my love
an ache with the pain of the ages for you
for you my rose my perfect rose
you are so far from me my love
and i so far from you
one day to be so complete so perfect
to again hold you in my arms
and let the world grow old around us
another day 03.01.05
another day
another day without a word from you
another day that my love still grows
if you only knew the depths of my feelings
perhaps you’d feel differently
perhaps you’d feel for me
another day with only dreams
dreams to comfort me
dreams to linger throughout my day
the perfection of you in my mind
the perfection of your touch
were it to be more than dreams
were it to be reality
were it to be your face
next to mine when i awake
one day it shall be
one day it will be
one day you will wake
next to me
‘tis but a dream i know
yet, a fine dream it is
to breathe your breath
to know your every touch
to feel your love
another day without a word from you
another day that my love still grows
if you only knew the depths of my feelings
perhaps you’d feel differently
perhaps you’d feel for me
another day with only dreams
dreams to comfort me
dreams to linger throughout my day
the perfection of you in my mind
the perfection of your touch
were it to be more than dreams
were it to be reality
were it to be your face
next to mine when i awake
one day it shall be
one day it will be
one day you will wake
next to me
‘tis but a dream i know
yet, a fine dream it is
to breathe your breath
to know your every touch
to feel your love
alone 3 02.14.05
alone 3
today alone for the first time in years
no one to share the love inside
to be a lone on such a day as this
no one to wrap my arms around
no one to wrap their arms around me
my thoughts fall to you as they always do
i wonder if today will be happy for you
could you find happiness with me
could i make you smile
could i make you feel love every day
for the rest of your life
i know given the chance i could
to treat you like a princess
i could be your knight
how did i come to this
how did casual attraction
become so much more
perhaps alone is what is meant for me
perhaps there is no one which to share
all of the love inside i would freely give
all of it i would give to you
today alone for the first time in years
no one to share the love inside
to be a lone on such a day as this
no one to wrap my arms around
no one to wrap their arms around me
my thoughts fall to you as they always do
i wonder if today will be happy for you
could you find happiness with me
could i make you smile
could i make you feel love every day
for the rest of your life
i know given the chance i could
to treat you like a princess
i could be your knight
how did i come to this
how did casual attraction
become so much more
perhaps alone is what is meant for me
perhaps there is no one which to share
all of the love inside i would freely give
all of it i would give to you
alone 2 05.17.02
alone 2
gentle rain moistens my path
i feel the dampness to my bones
and in a way i am comforted
because the journey has no tears
save the ones falling from the sky
the sky is as grey as my life
dull, bleak, and full of uneventfullness
i drive as in a daze
a long drive with little thought
and i arrive to the place alone
never having been here alone before
and they ask where you are
and i don’t know what to say
and they ask if i am ok
and i don’t know what to say
because i don’t really know
and i don’t want to talk about it
because i don’t know if i can
so i silently shrug my shoulders
and smile and walk away
to continue my journey alone
gentle rain moistens my path
i feel the dampness to my bones
and in a way i am comforted
because the journey has no tears
save the ones falling from the sky
the sky is as grey as my life
dull, bleak, and full of uneventfullness
i drive as in a daze
a long drive with little thought
and i arrive to the place alone
never having been here alone before
and they ask where you are
and i don’t know what to say
and they ask if i am ok
and i don’t know what to say
because i don’t really know
and i don’t want to talk about it
because i don’t know if i can
so i silently shrug my shoulders
and smile and walk away
to continue my journey alone
alone 10.14.04
alone
dreaming quietly of the of the future to come
trying to see tomorrow – if only for a moment
the vast choices leading in all directions
will they lead me to you and you to me
or will they lead us both to the far ends
the choice is no longer in my grasp
i never had the right to say
nor the right to act on my desire
i did all that i did out of pure love
and perhaps a touch of selfishness
but in true love not all is fair or any
the one side now that was once the two
alone is much harder than together
dreaming quietly of the of the future to come
trying to see tomorrow – if only for a moment
the vast choices leading in all directions
will they lead me to you and you to me
or will they lead us both to the far ends
the choice is no longer in my grasp
i never had the right to say
nor the right to act on my desire
i did all that i did out of pure love
and perhaps a touch of selfishness
but in true love not all is fair or any
the one side now that was once the two
alone is much harder than together
a silly thing 02.14.05
a silly thing
such a silly thing thoughts of you
cause me to do a silly thing
some might call it romantic
some might call it sweet
what will you call it
by any other name it would still be
just a silly little thing
just another reason to avert my eyes
just another reason to turn away
what am i doing this for
for you or perhaps for me
i just do not anymore know the reason
going for broke to turn a phrase
am i charming or is it a farce
what will come of my silly actions
i fear nothing but disappointment
yet still such a silly thing
so cliche it makes me wince
makes me feel so very alive
perhaps it will awaken you
perhaps it will enlighten you
at very least i hope that it will
make you smile
such a silly thing thoughts of you
cause me to do a silly thing
some might call it romantic
some might call it sweet
what will you call it
by any other name it would still be
just a silly little thing
just another reason to avert my eyes
just another reason to turn away
what am i doing this for
for you or perhaps for me
i just do not anymore know the reason
going for broke to turn a phrase
am i charming or is it a farce
what will come of my silly actions
i fear nothing but disappointment
yet still such a silly thing
so cliche it makes me wince
makes me feel so very alive
perhaps it will awaken you
perhaps it will enlighten you
at very least i hope that it will
make you smile
a month 02.28.05
a month
a month comes to an end
a month of wanting
a month of longing
a month of you
a month without you
silently i wait
i wait for the chance
i wait for the opportunity
i wait for the time
i wait for you
quietly i want
i want to touch
i want to be touched
i want to feel
i want for you
will you ever see
will you ever know
will i ever feel
will i ever know
your love
a month comes to an end
a month of wanting
a month of longing
a month of you
a month without you
silently i wait
i wait for the chance
i wait for the opportunity
i wait for the time
i wait for you
quietly i want
i want to touch
i want to be touched
i want to feel
i want for you
will you ever see
will you ever know
will i ever feel
will i ever know
your love
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